Episode #206 – Massive Personal Growth and Change with Brad Chandler, Part 2

The real estate industry is filled with thriving self-starters. They work very hard and make lots of money.

Unfortunately, this is the only industry where we don’t speak about our personal struggles. Believe it or not, a lot of us struggle with self-worth issues.

This leads to other issues like eating too much or relying on alcohol and drugs to get through the day.

This is a formula for burnout and a miserable life.

This can be fixed if we get to the root cause of our issues.

In this episode, Brad Chandler of Express Home Buyers, joins us again to discuss ways to overcome our internal barriers to a successful life. These barriers are hidden and it is hard to overcome them on your own.

Listen now.

Show highlights include:

  • What you can learn about success from Tom Brady’s failures ([2:25])
  • The “Self-Love” method to keep yourself motivated in times of struggle ([3:00])
  • The “Impact” formula for a massively successful business where you only work 3 hours a week ([3:35])
  • How aA purpose driven business that opens the floodgate to massive impact and a lot of money ([4:30])
  • 3 hidden beliefs that keep you stuck from living a fulfilled life and in a state of suffering ([15:35])
  • The two deadly fears that you are born with and how to overcome them ([19:45])

To connect with Brad Chandler, please visit:


To get the latest updates directly from Dan and discuss business with other real estate investors, join the REI marketing nerds Facebook group here: https://adwordsnerds.com/group

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Read Full Transcript

You're listening to the REI marketing nerds podcast, the leading resource for real estate investors who want to dominate their market online. Dan Barrett is the founder of AdWords nerds, a high tech digital agency focusing exclusively on helping real estate investors like you get more leads and deals online, outsmart your competition and live a freer, more awesome life. And now, your host, Dan Barrett.

(0:40) Hey, guys, welcome back, you're listening to the second part of last week's episode? Let's jump back in. So let me ask you, I could imagine someone saying, Well, yes, you know, you don't want to get all your worth from money, but at the same time that drove you to be successful and caused you to pick up the book. And, you know, Express Homebuyers has been this massive investing success. And I can imagine someone particularly in the real estate investing space, which is, I think, you know, you probably agreed, maybe not let me know, but is the space that is predominant by extremely ambitious people, right? There's people who are self starters self motivated, go out there. There's a real ethic of working hard and taking the chance, and then all this stuff, right, which is good, I think, in general, but I could see people saying, well, if I let go of let's just say, I have the same belief, like my self worth is rooted in money. If I let go of that, do I then end up losing? What gives me an advantage in my life? Where I do I end up losing a part of what's made me meet? What would you say to someone like that, who maybe doesn't want to, or feels anxiety about giving up that part of them? Because, well, what if that makes them less successful or less driven? You know, whatever adjective you'd like to you,

(2:06) man, you have some amazing questions. I feel like we should, we should turn this into like a YouTube series, because Fantastic question on so many levels. Your question is, Well, isn't that a good thing? Is that a good thing that drove you? Yes, it is a good thing. But just everything with most things in life, right? There's a positive and there's a negative. So yes, it drove me to make millions of dollars. And I believe that if you look at most high performing athletes, most high performing CEOs, I think it's the same exact reason why they're high performers, because they're trying to prove something. You look at Tom Brady, people most people think the Tom Brady is is the happiest guy in the world, his Marish just failed. And after the last Super Bowl, he had spent I don't know how much time probably not much time, but a lot of money on a real that within two minutes of the Super Bowl being done, which was proving all his naysayers wrong. If someone really loves himself, or has a lot of self compassion doesn't prove themselves, they're never going to make a video. So I think it drives a lot of people. So it drove me to make millions of dollars. But it also drove me to make five business mistakes that cost me $9 million trying to cut catch my worth. And maybe you can look at me and say, well, you're just not as smart as the next guy. And that might be the case, because I made some pretty stupid mistakes. But to your question about losing your drive, I have a client right now it's one of the few of my clients who's struggling. And he's been extremely successful financially at a young age. And he thinks that if he gives up this, if he goes to the self love, it's gonna be like, Well, how am I going to drive myself, here's what I'm here to tell you. When I have shifted my goal of trying to make a lot of money, or the reason I try to make a lot of money to prove myself to a I want to impact people in my lives on this planet, my business is now doing, it's good as ever, pretty much right? I work three hours a week, I'm coaching now, a lot of people I'm changing lives inside my company, I'm looking at how we can impact the sellers. So I believe that the people who are chasing the money, you'll never find happiness, because nothing outside of your house itself will either bring you joy or sadness, it can't it's all you everything you ever needed to be happy is when it within yourself. So I think if you make that shift from trying to prove your worth, to try to prove an impact, but you can't do that, you can't find your purpose until you have this internal connection because you're just running around in a fight or flight state all the time. So long winded way of saying, I believe that the financial success in this coaching company, it's a first company I've started about that I didn't have money in mind. But I bet you if we have this conversation in five years, I'm going to be more financially successful because I'm not concerned about the money. All I want to do is change as many people's lives as I possibly can.

(4:47) Yeah, I mean, so that brings up a really interesting point. I am very, very interested in people who are operating what I would consider highly purpose driven business. In a sense, right purpose driven, mission driven, whatever you want to call it, and it strikes me that there's a there's a bit of a mirroring there, right? You had this this moment where you decided to go all in on Express Homebuyers, right, and you had the newborn on the way and you had to kind of work through that process. And it strikes me that there's a bit of a sort of a reflection there in your decision to to really move into coaching from Express Homebuyers. Now, like you said, you're still working at Express Homebuyers. It's still it's still great company today. But was it hard to shift your focus from investing to coaching, right? Because investing was the proven thing, right? really doing? Well? I imagine there's a lot of validation there. And obviously, there's money there. There's a lot of success and everything that comes with that. And then you've got to shift over to this thing that is new and necessarily unproven and maybe different. Was that a hard decision to make? Was it was it easy to make, like what was that like?

(5:59) It was one of the it might have been the easiest decision I've ever made my life. Honestly, everything around, this has been the easiest decision I make. I've got I've read 40 books in the last 20 months, I've spent, I don't know, 500 to 1000 hours studying. I can't get enough of this. Again, because I have found my purpose in life. And I only could find my purpose to life from getting reconnected to myself. So no, it's been an amazing journey. I can assure people, some people in the first couple months were like, don't go to to Ireland, because it's what happens a lot. When people go through this, they want to help other people, but then they just kind of burn out on the helping other people and they just live their life happily ever after. And I can tell everyone, I assure you, I will be doing this work till the day that I leave this beautiful planet because there's, I mean, it is just so rewarding to me on so many levels.

(6:46) I mean, I love that man. I think there is a thing that happens when you have a really deep passion for what you do that like you said, it's sort of almost a self fulfilling prophecy in that sense. Now, you were gonna really tell like it comes off you in waves, right? How happy you are and excited you are. So let's, let's apply this a little bit. So the audience for this podcast REITs real estate investors, we are in a weird market, right? We're in a weird market right now. We've had many years of what I would consider abnormal times. I don't know if there's any ever gonna be any non abnormal times anymore. But we had a couple of years of like pretty abnormal times, we're heading into what feels like a market correction. I know there's a lot of uncertainty, right? So let me ask you, are you viewing this period, we're heading into more dealing with it in the context of Express Homebuyers differently today than you would have as the Brad Chandler from 10 years ago, before you had this kind of transformation, right? Like if you can compare and contrast in your head, how that Brad would have handled this versus how this brand is handling this? What are the differences you see there? If any?

(7:53) Oh, yeah, I mean, I would have been freaking out because I would have been scared of losing money. Because my happiness and my worth was tied to the money. And now I live my life that everything happens to us for a reason everything. And it's not it's happening for us, right? And it's always to teach us some type of lesson. So I, I'm in a good position financially. And could things change drastically? Yeah, they could I think things are gonna get pretty hairy out there the next you know, six months, I think interest rates are not gonna go back down. But I don't know what I'm talking about. It's just a guess. And I I've been saying for six months, the volume is gonna go way down. And it sure it's certainly dropped off a cliff. I mean, title companies, I don't know how they're surviving. I don't know how lenders are surviving loan officers. I mean, they're laying off like there's massive layoffs going off going on now. But I think that if you take a situation like this, and you freak out about it, you go into that fight or flight mode, your creativity shuts down, you can't see things I look at everything that happens in my life now is nothing bad ever happens to me. Because how do you know at the time that it's bad. So my second wife, like literally up and walked out on me in the middle of COVID. And I was destroyed, right? 45 days of just like misery, like, this is the worst thing ever. And I looked back and it was like a huge, huge blessing for me. It just was so you just can't see anything as bad in your life. It's always an opportunity to learn and to grow so and the more that you can see that I you know, can just imagine living a life where nothing bad happens to you. That's pretty much how I live my life. If I get in a car accident, I'm like, Well, this was meant to be if I get rained out, it was meant to be just let the universe do its thing because we can't control interest rates. We can control how many phone calls we make a day, we can control the people that we attract. My team is the best team we've ever had in 20 years. I've had people hear me on podcasts were like I need to come work with this guy. And then I ended up working with him and helping him change his life because of his past trauma. So I've attracted a different type of person. We've got this amazing company that we everyone when they are now we just the we love they're all awesome.

(9:56) I was actually going to ask him about this which is how this it filters through to how you think about team building and hiring, right? Because you mentioned your work and Express Homebuyers three hours a week. For people who don't know, the company, that's I find that extremely impressive, my company is much smaller than yours. And I have been spending really the whole last year, rebuilding my team rebuilding my processes, and I'm still in that kind of process very slowly getting out of it. But I've had to learn a lot about picking the right people and understanding what makes someone the right person for a role. Right. So I'm really curious how you think about that process. Now? Like if you are building a team for Express Homebuyers, or you start building a team around your coaching business, right? How do you approach that, with this knowledge you have now about psychology and you know, what people bring to their relationships, which of course, an employee employer relationship is it's in a relationship, like how do you view that process differently? Or go about it differently?

(11:01) I mean, look like every I saw, I told you, I'm a completely different human being in every area of my life, right? Other than maybe the fitness like, I've always been in fitness. But even that's gotten better. Yeah, so I can't not talk about my transformation. I can't not talk about things. I read people. Now. A lot of people say I create safety. I think I didn't have a lot of safety growing up as a child. So that's kind of my superpower. i People really open up to me. I mean, people have said to me on countless occasions over the last 20 months, I've never told anyone that before. So when I'm in these interviews, which I really haven't heard in a while and haven't been interviewed, interviewed, but if you go back a couple months, we interviewed a bunch of people hire a bunch of people, like the people leave the interview being like, I can't believe this interview I had one of our employees just moved out to LA and when I was out there getting trained in hypnosis, hypnotherapy, we, I brought him to him, his girlfriend at dinner, and he's just like, Man, I still can't believe I'm having these conversations with my boss, his boss, like, really intimate conversations about their life. And I've helped him, you know, see things in his life. So how do I approach it just from a point of like, love, and I'm not judging them? And, you know, we brought on people that were the several people that were recovering all holics I don't know if I would have had a problem with that before. Probably not. But I just see it in a whole nother light. Like I see myself in them. I wasn't alcoholic. Did I drink too much at times that I use alcohol and weed to make myself feel better? Because of my shortcomings? Absolutely. So yeah, I just everything changes, like, it's so hard. When you are fighting for your worthiness to have a good relationship with yourself with with a spouse, with a business partner with a employee. i My business partner and I have been together for 19 years. I mean, we don't do a lot of stuff outside just because we have busy families. But he's, I consider him like one of my best friends in the world. And Tom Kroll, who you probably know, he is like, don't ever get into partnership. He's like, he wants to write a book on how partnerships fail. And I'm like, I've been blessed. And yeah, I mean, it wasn't always that way. For the most part it was, I tried to buy him out at one point in time all around my unworthiness too. And so anyway, just just everything changes when you can find that freedom and self love.

(13:12) Let's find motivated seller leads online but don't know where to start. Download our FREE motivated seller keyword report today, AdWords nerds have spent over $5 million this year researching the most profitable keywords for finding motivated seller leads. And you can grab these exact keywords when you download our report at www dot AdWords nerds.com/keywords. So here's where we transition officially to the Dan asked the selfish question. thing, because here's, here's my question about what you just said, because I do identify with the idea of maybe maybe intimate is sort of the wrong word that I'm looking for. But this this deeply connective type of relationship, right, that maybe people aren't used to having in the workplace, right. And I've always really believed in that. And I think, what a problem that I ran into, was that I wanted that thing. I wanted that kind of relationships so badly that I would almost compulsively overlook problems with the people that I hired. Right. And so those problems sort of snowballed until I realized that, well, what started as a little problem over here with this one particular person has become sort of a cultural issue now, and it sort of got to the point where I had to let people go that I'd worked with for years and years and years and felt like I had a really deep relationship with right it was it was very, it was very painful at the time was very difficult. But I also viewed it as a very educational experience, right? Like I was like, Okay, I came out of that as a far more mature human being right. So My question to you is, how do you sort of manage to build those relationships with people where like you said, you can have these deeply connected moments, you can have those great conversations, you know, you can see people for who they really are, but also maintain some of the objectivity that you need as an entrepreneur, so that you can view people through the lens of their how their performance affects the company, and not necessarily, you know, see them and their kids and their entire family behind them. Does that make sense?

(15:32) Hey, does I mean I think it just becomes so. So many people struggle with unworthiness, I'm not enough, the three main things that people have, and some people have all three of them. If you have any suffering in your life, it's because you don't feel enough, you feel you don't belong, and therefore you can't connect. Or you're the feeling that you can't get what you ever want, you never will get it. So so many people have one or a combination of those, that it's really hard to build a deep connection anywhere. So I think what you're asking is, how do you build a deep connection, but yet still keep them making a certain number of calls. And, frankly, it's like, easy, because there's no hidden agenda. Now, it's, look, we're trying to make an impact on the most people, you've got to do your job. If you don't do your job, maybe there's not a place for you here. It said would love like, Dude, I love you. And I'll still continue to help you through your life. But we're trying to we're trying to do something here, we're trying to accomplish something here. And you can either be with us or you can be without us. So honestly, it's it makes everything easier, when you can be. Most people cannot be their authentic self. And that's why we have a drinking problem. And, you know, marijuana, prob, just all these issues, we're always trying to mask who we really are, when you can speak from your heart. And when someone says something that upsets you, and you can say, hey, what you just said, upset me. It's not your fault. Because if I'm upset at something internal in me, and you can have these conversations with people, it just it that's how you build deep connection. And when you have deep connection, people generally will work harder and smarter for you.

(16:59) So someone's listening to this. And they're, you know, they're interested, it sounds really exciting and kind of interesting, but they also don't really know what they think about it, right? Because I think that's, that's fair, if somebody has hasn't had this experience, maybe they don't know necessarily what to think about it, what's something that they could look for in their lives to kind of open a door into this kind of this part of themselves? So does that make sense? Like, you mentioned, like, you know, these three beliefs of, you know, I'm not enough, I can't get what I want, I don't belong. And if I had, I was like, Okay, check, check. You know, I really mentally checking them off, right? So so what are some things that people can look for in their lives as maybe an indicator that they should dig a little bit deeper in that part of their lives? Or, or maybe spend some time self examining?

(17:50) I do like it just another phenomenal question. And I'm trying to do 1000 things at once, building this company, one of the things I'm going to do is I'm going to create a self love self compassion tests, and it's going to explain this very same thing. If you'd asked me that question two years ago. Hey, Brad, you love yourself? And do you have self love? Are you happy? Sorry, are you happy? Do you have self love and be like, hell? Yeah, I love myself. I don't care what other people think. But it wasn't true. And I didn't know that. So all these people are probably like this in the same boat. Like, well, I have a lot of self love so I can stop watching now. It's the similar thing when you say to someone Oh, you know, alcoholic, and they're like, Well, I'm not really and you start asking them questions about your life. So forget the alcoholism. Just look at yourself is What have your relationships been like in your life? Your intimate relationships? Have they been rocky hasn't been one person after the next you're like, what's wrong with this person? What's wrong? This person was wrong. This person I keep. I keep finding the wrong people. Well, you're attracting the wrong people. Do you drive around in a triggered state? Are you are you honking at people are you know, are you are you yelling at people? Are you flipping them off? Do you find yourself judging other people all the time? Do you find yourself judging yourself? When you make a mistake? How do you talk to yourself? Do you say, Dan, you effing idiot? Like how could you make that mistake again? Or do you say you know what? Probably shouldn't have done that. But it's okay. We're humans. We go on? Do you drink too much? Do you eat too much? Do you work 80 hours a week? Is your wife or your husband saying why do you work so much? The kids miss you? How is a great barometer goes back to the kids. I just did a video on this a couple days. How do you know if you have a happy marriage two ways. Ask the parents or test the kids cortisol levels? What's cortisol? It's what your body produces when you're in stress. So do you ever get rulership with your children? And relationship doesn't mean that you're you're doing everything for them because I was doing everything for my kids, but yet I was still hurting them. So do your kids have behavioral problems? Do they have anxiety? Do they have AD D? Do they have drug problems? Do they drink whatever it is? Look to yourself because your kids weren't born with those issues and nor were you and that's the beautiful thing. We learned all these. We were only born with the fear of falling down and loud noises everything else we've learned. If you learned it, you can unlearn it. So you If you're listening, you have any of those things, I can promise you that that means you have one of the three things Dan said, repeated, I'm not enough, I can't go, I don't belong, and therefore, I can't connect. And I can't get what I want. Those are three things that Marissa Pierre, one of my, one of my great mentors taught me. If you have any of those signs, I promise you that there are areas of your life and probably every single area of your life that's being affected in some way, shape, or form. And you're like, Well, I don't know why. Why don't I come home every night and have to drink two glasses of wine to wind down? Why don't I go to events? Can I not walk in and feel comfortable talking to people? Why do I have to go to the bar and slam like two tequila shots and in chug a beer before I go talk to someone? All of those are signs like something isn't right. It's your body's way of telling you just like when you get a headache or a fever, your body's amazing. Your brains amazing when you have pain. It's your internal alarm system. When you feel something internal. That doesn't feel right. It's a sign that something is not right inside yourself.

(20:57) Oh, yeah. So I could I just want to keep talking about this. But I literally can't because I have to manage the time. So I'm, I'm so curious. What is next in your head right for this this project that you have that you started? It seems like just over the last five years, it's changed quite a bit right in focus. So when you look out at the next five years, what do you want to achieve? Like what what do you view as next for Brad Chandler and Brad chandler.com? Obviously, we mentioned the website. But what's what's next for you? I mean, it's just about impact. It's how do i in the next five years, forget the five years? I hope I'm about to turn 50 Next year, and I want to live to be I used to say 100. But now with the Tony Robbins lifeforce book that came out on longevity, I think I can push that to 110. So for the next 60 years, what is the most amount of people that I can help? Can I change five millions people's lives? I'm going to get I'm going to try I'm trying everything I can to how can I create a product or system that can help millions of people, because I want to change the world not to say, Hey, Brian Chandler changed the world, all I want to do is when I die, say I did, when I left this earth, it was way better than when I got here. And I can take a little bit of credit for it.

(22:16) And I love that so much. And like I said, I think it really comes across the the passion, the intensity you bring to your work. So we've mentioned the website, which is Brad chandler.com. And I know for a fact that if anybody's listening to this, and you're curious what Brad is doing, you can go to Brad chandler.com/contact, to get all his contact information and reach out to him directly. I know you do a lot of social media, you're doing a daily video for a while too. So if people want to learn more about you or follow you, there's Brad chandler.com. Where else should they look up? So if they go to Brad chandler.com, forward slash contact, all of my social media platforms are there, whatever one you're on, I'm on my contact information, my website, a little video about my story. It's like a three and a half minute video that kind of tells you about my story. That would be the best place. All right. Look, if you're suffering, if you're suffering in any way, shape, or form all of those things, that drinking too much eating too much thing xiety That depression, you can't sleep. By the way, we have a huge problem in this world in the United States more than ever with sleep. As my mentor says, Marissa, sleep issues are a sign of a troubled mind. Even you heard the saying sleep like a baby. You were born to sleep really well. If you're not sleeping now. It's 99% sure you've got a something going on with your mind right sub stress. So all I'm here to tell you is if you've tried everything, you haven't even tried everything. If you're suffering, you don't have to suffer, there is a proven way out. Whether I help you or not, it doesn't matter. But get help. If you need me to either help you or find someone to help you. I am here to help.

(23:49) Yeah, I mean, I think that's such an important message. And you know, maybe even more important in in real estate investing, which I think is not an industry like I think like a lot of industries, but maybe not an industry where we're necessarily used to talking about our feelings or talking about our personal difficulties. I think Surprisingly, a lot of investors are very open about the struggles that they face if you ask, but it's not something that people necessarily share all the time. So I think that's a really powerful message. Like he said, Brad chandler.com/contact. Brad, thank you so much for coming on the show. Man. This was a real a real treat for me. I just really appreciate you coming on. That was awesome. And your questions are unbelievable. And Leah, let's do it again in six months or something.

(24:34) That is it. That's it for our interview this week. Again, I hope you got a ton out of my conversation with Brad. I did and I'm really hoping the same was for you. Hey, by the way, AdWords nerds.com is the place to go. If you need an online marketing strategy for your market. We will help you put together one for free. If you want to use us to help us implement it awesome. We would love that. But if you don't you want to just go do it on your own. We encourage that and in fact, we will hook you up with resources to help you do just that. AdWords nerds.com is the place to go. Click on the thing that says strategy session and we will get you going again for free. As always, I appreciate you listening. I will see you next week. Cheers.

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